Okay ALL year I have been avoiding trying to think about how much longer until my John boy comes home to me, lets be honest I thought about it enough as it is without torturing myself with a sad countdown like: Man only 263 days till he comes home wahoo! No. That would have been too depressing for me, so I always just referred to it as a long ways away. Sure I kept myself occupied, to keep from going crazy, took some leisurely and lovely trips to various places, I'm still pluggin away at my masters degree online, I have re-discovered my need for crafting, and I'm trying to get our food storage started. Meanwhile john finds bad guys, plans missions, fixes everything that needs fixing, either scorches or freezes every day, sleeps on a sad cot, eats top ramen and who knows what else, gets to play the occasional rock band where he seems to be the drummer extroodinaire. And of course he calls me whenever his schedule allows which is every few days, I am telling you it is like Christmas when I get a call two nights in a row, such a treat! And it's been happening more and more lately. I won't go into super mushy details about the heart-ache of being apart, just know it is by far THE hardest thing I have ever endured.
ANYWAY, all this abnoxious lonely independence, hopping from house to house to who-ever will let me crash their place, having my personal belongings in many different places, missing my cute husband, living for the phone calls and letters, dreaming of how things will be when he gets back, worrying if he's safe, telling him time and time again that I'm okay, IS SOON TO BE A CLOSED CHAPTER in the Great book of Courtenay and John. And can I just say I could just die I am so excited.
I was telling my mom the other day that I was feeling really weird, had trouble sleeping, loss of appetite, constant needing to move around and relax all at the same time, and I concluded that I felt just like on the night before school starts, or on Christmas Eve, where your tummy feels all empty and in knots but elated at the same time, and though your eyes are shut, they won't relax, and your eyelids feel like sandpaper on your eyes. And your heart rate is slightly faster, and your hands shake a little bit and you talk fast and it feels like somebody swapped the blood in your heart and veins with 7-up 'cause you're all tingly all the time. You know the feeling? Well in talking to her I discovered this feeling had been my companion since I started planning things and counting down to when John comes home! I am so darned excited and anxious, I can't even believe it and my brain is telling my body to just relax, but it wont.
So here it is, My John boy angel loaf beef cake suga buns is gonna be home in 29 days! holy smokes, that's ONE fast sunday, that's FOUR weeks from saturday, thats a light at the end of the tunnel! Shoot! I just can't even believe it. I am so excited to have him home with me by my side. All I can think about is what kinds of meals I'm gonna fix him, and how many walks we'll go on, and how nice it will be to go to the temple together, and tell jokes, and snuggle and watch movies, and hold hands, and drive places together, and just be. I'm pretty giddy just now talking about it, can't even believe it's actually going to happen, and so soon! I just pray time moves along like it should!
John is my hero, I've said that before, but i just marvel at the good man he is and how he likes me too, and we're best friends, and we're in love and everything!
I also want to say that since this year has been my hardest, I have really relied on my family and friends to keep me involved in the world, keep me busy, let me know they care what's happening in my life, and that they would be my shoulder to cry on if I needed it. I am so blessed to have people who love me and take such good care of me...
So...here's to Feb 28, 2009 the day dreams are comin true! CHEERS!
PS..I made a countdown at the top right of my page, but for some silly reason you have to scroll through it to see how many days, hours, minutes and seconds....so check it out! :o)
